I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
