turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Congratulations! We have a period
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