ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
