well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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