Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
