im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
