Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
