May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
