Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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