I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
