I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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