Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He felt like a one man threesome
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
