First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
