I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
