if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
