sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Randomize
