honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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