Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
