I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
No subtext here. People are naked.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
