The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
