What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
