I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
