Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize