Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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