What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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