conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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