Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
