How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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