Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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