your room smells of hookers.
And success
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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