my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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