Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
