i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
