do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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