The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I am one with the molecules
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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