Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
