the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize