that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
