Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
