ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
