Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
