Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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