Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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