Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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