If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
