If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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