...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
