Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
