Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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