wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I stole a fireplace last night.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize