ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
