Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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