Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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