i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize