i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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