I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
