I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
