recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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