Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
