I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
