Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize