It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize