I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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