how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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