i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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