ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Success! We fucked roommates!
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