i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
