he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
